Well, after being sick for these few days..the number of white cells in my body had dropped tremendously. Now, the total number of white blood cells in my body is 4000 and I have to go for Chemo on 28th or 29th of October 2011..I have been trying my best to make sure it reached 5000 so that I can go for Chemo...Doctor was so confused with my situation...Normally, Cancer patient will not have to measure their white blood cells for their first Chemo but mine is already very low before Chemo...I was so happy few days back when doctor told me that I was ready for Chemo and this happened...I felt like I have wasted my mother's time and energy to prepare banana and soya beans meals for me everyday... I was so dissapointed...Just because of the fever, it destroyed my hard work within seconds.. Why I am so weak...I want to go for Chemo ...I want to challenge myself and be Healthy again....
( I like to call it night flower because normally I have to take it at night )
Doctor wants to do BONE MARROW BIOPSY again...Honestly, it is a damn painful process ( it will be a lie to say that it is not painful) and doctor just told me that I have to go through it again...bec they are worried but...IT IS A DAMN PAINFUL PROCESS....more pills to take after this Fever...and everytime after the BONE MARROW BIOPSY...my back pain will get worse and I dont even can drive a car but I cannot trouble my dad anymore bec he is already in pain because of me so I want him to think I am still healthy and strong...although I know he acts along...he knows I am in pain....
(This picture was taken by my friends in Hospital and now I want to show it to the whole world)
My Life at the moment... would you want a life like this???and to those who keep on asking me to think positively...now you know why I am worried everyday........
(In The End)
(I love the lyrics of this song)
In the end, it doesn't even matter right? So we don't wait till the end lor. Enjoy it before we reach the end. :p
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